


Something to forget

by Mayonnaiser



Category: Turn (TV 2014)
Genre: Ben really misses Nathan, Caleb is jealous, Canon Compliant, M/M, Pre-Relationship, and keeps all his letters, even though Ben and him are not together yet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-29 00:07:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21400897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mayonnaiser/pseuds/Mayonnaiser
Summary: “He told me that he would love to share every second with me and… well, it was not scary to become a spy, because, in any case, he would end up in gallows. He just wished we wouldn’t be there together.”“Why would you?”“You know, Caleb, this is what they do with sodomites.”
Relationships: Caleb Brewster/Benjamin Tallmadge, Nathan Hale (1755-1776)/Benjamin Tallmadge
Comments: 3
Kudos: 23





	Something to forget

**Author's Note:**

> I am really late to this party but whatever.

Tallmadge, of course, is hiding in a tent, as he usually does when he is either pissed or do not want to talk. This artificial sense of stealthiness like no one can find him here or crack open his dirty secrets is comforting. He is the head of intelligence after all, isn’t he?

Brewster does not care, though. Benjamin wonders sometimes if there is anything personal Caleb can let him have, but this is pointless to think about right now, when the lieutenant is literally sitting next to him on a make-shift bed. Tallmadge himself is occupying a wooden chair, relaxing on a back of it and rereading the letters he knows by heart.

Maybe it is some sort of a dare Caleb made in his mind, to check how far he can go in this unstable, abnormal relationship between them. Brewster has been silent for the last hour, and Tallmadge is somewhat thankful that he does not interrupt him.

All good things, unfortunately, have a tendency to come to the end.

“Well, major, are you going to sit here and read these letters till the end of a day?” Caleb really emphasizes on the last part as if it is some kind of an unspoken sin. Benjamin finds himself breathing out heavily.

“Sure, why not.” There is silence between them before Brewster snorts.

“Ye know, every time, when you do something like this, it means straight up hell for everyone else the next day, because you are unbearable.”

Caleb says this in a joking manner, trying to light up the mood, but Ben closes his eyes before setting one of the letters on a table. ‘So, it didn’t work, huh,’ Brewster frowns for a second, ‘must be something really fucking serious.’ He knows that he is right, but he cannot find the correlation between the events.

And these fucking letters, too. Caleb cannot lie, they are pissing him off so damn much, he would burn them himself if he did not know how important they are for Ben.

There is an awkward, ugly second, when Tallmadge looks at him nearly disappointed as if Brewster should have known everything, but all these emotions die down pretty quickly.

“Did you know that Rodgers was the one to hang Nathan?”

Ah, so that is what happened. Caleb feels bad for all the wicked thoughts.

“No, I didn’t.”

It is Nathan; not Hale, not Nathan Hale, not a friend or the friend. It is Nathan, and it bothers Brewster that, still, after all these years he is alive in Tallmadge’s mind. And these letters are just a further reminder of his fate.

“Sometimes I wonder, if he is happy to go off this way.”

Irritating, to say the least. This is what Caleb feels and yet he is listening to every single word like his life depends on this.

“Maybe I need to get it off my chest…” There is uncertainty in his voice.

“You sure do.” Brewster encourages, and Tallmadge sighs. “Whatever that is, you’d better do this, Ben.”

“I know, I know, these are just…” And after that Benjamin looks straight at the exit from his tent. Caleb takes the hint, stands up and goes to it to see whether there are any unwanted eavesdroppers, but, fortunately, there are none. “… some heavy thoughts.”

“Hit me with them, then.” The bravery of this man is miraculous, and Tallmadge smiles, when Brewster gets back to his bed and sits on it. “I don’t think you can surprise me anymore.”

Benjamin still smiles, when he looks at the letter as if he gets courage from it.

“Nathan and I, we’d been always doing all the things together, doesn’t matter if it gets us in trouble or not.” So soft, yet it scratches Caleb’s soul anyway. “Friends forever, no matter what could happen, we would always support each other. Detentions or casual hang outs; we’d do anything if that meant being close to each other.”

He pauses to take breath, while Brewster is shifting uncomfortably, wary of both surroundings and Ben’s words. “That’s nice.” Caleb manages to say.

“While it was nice and I truly enjoyed it, once he said a thing that really struck me.” It is a whisper, a light one, very hard to hear, but that meant that Ben is about to say something compromising. “He told me that he would love to share every second with me and… well, it was not scary to become a spy, because, in any case, he would end up in gallows.”

Ben swallows.

“He just wished we wouldn’t be there together.”

“Why would you?” Brewster asks dismissively, inadvertently imaging Tallmadge and Hale lying in a bed, while talking about this. Disgusting, he thinks. This is the true face of jealousy, he confesses to himself.

“You know, Caleb, this is what they do with sodomites.”

And, honestly, Brewster cannot even answer, because Tallmadge is right. These intimate details — so sweet, yet so toxic, — are the hard work of him making Ben comfortable with who he is at least around Caleb, and now the lieutenant reaps the fruits of his tedious labor.

“You know what,” he is done with this romantic bullshit, “I guess, Hale wouldn’t be happy if he knew you still remember him to this day, contemplating on what is right and what is wrong.”

“Why would you know?”

“And more than that,” Brewster stands up and gets closer to Tallmadge, “you are not Hale.”

“Of course, I am not, and I…”

“So quit your desperate whining about him, you are better than this, Benny.” Benjamin, though, clearly does not look happy, but Caleb goes along with this anyway. “In any case, you, at least, like the girls too, don’t you?”

“Quieter.” Tallmadge shushes him, and Brewster smiles. 

“I can get you one, if you need.”

“I don’t, really.”

“Ye, ye, you’d better hide here and waste your life on a dead man?”

He sees the sparks in Ben’s eyes, the sparks of anger, but Tallmadge does not say anything strict in particular, he just breathes in and out, thinking about Caleb’s words, finding the right logic there.

Brewster smiles widely, when Ben tilts his head in defeat.

“I’m not drinking with you, though.” Tallmadge says smugly.

“We’ll work on this later, major.”


End file.
